how's life?

I hope you are doing fine! :)
praying for your studies, and your well being,
people around me.

hmm, how did you spend your birthday?
must be a happening one, because all your friends are celebrating for you! :)
happy, happy for you!
must stay happy okay?

there is a few times, i was on a package and i passed by your secondary school.
I was wondering, if you retake, I guess i will see you there.. and maybe things maybe different from now?
but no matter what it is, i know you are definitely happy for now, or not, enjoying your life with God.:)

Reflected upon a lot of stuffs - and seems to understand a bit more and that.
I thank god that you didnt give me the pictures that we took.
maybe i wasnt that photogenic, and not that good looking, haha.
whatever it maybe, thank God for you, so that i wont think so much, and recall so much. :)

jia you in whatever things you have done.
I will continue to pray for you, your well being, your good friends, and your family. :D


Thank God for everything! :)

OCS here i come.

I dun ask for much, pray for me. :)

jia you in school wor. :)

memories of you, are wounds upon my heart.
seeing you with your close friend, i am indeed envious about him.

but there is nothing i can do.
bits of you, depressed me.
seeing me, you feel uncomfortable.
but seeing God, it is a relief for both of us, i believe,
or maybe, that is a relief for me.

Tired, and feeling low - I realised the insecurity in me, and all.
But God has came to set us free..

i have always hope to see you,
without letting you seeing me.
I always hope you are feeling comfortable,
and whatever you think it is good for you.

thank God for you, in this moment of life.
things are tumbling down at home.
struggling with life and affecting-future decisions,
I guess, God is just building me up, slowly.

Just hanging onto God,
if you have a sms or prayer for me, I think it will be a great blessing to me.
A great encouragement. :)

thank God for you. :)
and thank God for Christ,
because of Him,
tough journeys we are able to walk through.
definitely He is going to have a breakthrough in yours, and He will walk with you. :)

jia you Wor, Rachel,
and i still miss you. (:

love you, MY dear Lord. :)
and Rachel. :)

POP lo!

i had a thought to invite you, rachel.
but i know you will refuse:
because you wont be free
because you have school
because, you find there no need to - maybe.

what is so special about this POP for me?
the days, I think, and i went it through together with God.
It's tough, not to think of you whenever my friends said about their galfriends.
You have left, as much i remembered.
And You have left a part of you in me - your eyes, your smile, and the sensual touch of your beautiful hands.

It is great to see you on sunday service, had a small chat with you.
I wanted to care for you a bit that more, but i know if i do it, i know you will be sensitive over it.

deep down in me, deep down in my heart,
i really hope you can make it for the sunday, and my POP day.
the passing out parade was main thing -
I have shared it with God, He is the first who i wanted to share it with, then my brother and you.
I want to take pictures with you,
I want to tell you your boyfriend (now is ex-) is platoon best,
I want to show you the plug i receive,
I want you to help me wear my cap,
I want you to sit on the special seats that is only designated for the people,
I want you to be proud of me,
I want you to walk with me on the express lane of the Tekong Ferry Terminal,
I want to tell the others how beautiful you are,

And all of all,
I just want to tell you how great my God has given to me,
how much glory i receive that is all belonged to Him,
the journey He has walked with me,
how much He has loved me,
and I want to thank God that you are there, if you are.

that is how much I hope, and I want to.

but still, thank God, for He is there, whenever my emotions go weak.
Most of the time, though you are not there;
whenever i saw your the broke-up msg;
Thank God, for His Love, Grace and Mercy.

and I just hope,
that you are there.
To share all the joy that we have.

And i Just want to thank God all for now... :'(


and whatever that is for now..

you are always around some corner, in my dreams.it is as if, you are still inside of me.


and...
i miss you.. still, chel.
how i wish you know this all..
with loves. :)

this is yours and mine beautiful story.
everyone has their own stories, individually unique. :)
yours and mine is a beautiful one.
at least, we ended up as friends.
close as i want to be, yet you make distance.

I often wonder, should i get into a relationship, and I always think of you.
whenever i look at girls, you appeared in my mind.

I have always miss you.
just seeing couples simply holding hands, reminded me of you, the times when we have to sneakily hold each other hands. :)
hees! :)

I thank God for you.
and I have always been missing you.
it is a joy, in fact.
I guess God feels the same, when He thinks about us.

it is a delight in my life, to have you being part of my life.
it will be a difference if i dun have you. :)


Beyond a thousand, and millions in the sky.
Beautiful Rachel, there I find.
Was that a dream, was that a truth,
the answer speaks,
as i hold onto you. :)

I love you, still. :)
and...


...God bless you. :)

getting you out of my head is really hard.
It takes time, a lot of time.


I am enlisting soon.
will you miss me?
how i hope you ask me all these:
"how are you recently?"
"when are you enlisting?"
... but i think you wont.



nonetheless,
i still miss you.
i still never forget the two dates we went out.
and i have never forget that i had said i love you.



and not, i am loving you, still.
maybe things have changed slightly bit.
I am struggling bad in life.
Christ has provided much for me in life.
thank God that we are separated, because i am pretty busy now.
when i saw my mates doing something, i was thinking what happened if i am in that situation. :)

jia you in life wor.
and thank God for you. (:

i wonder.. what have you been learning and do? (:

hmmm,

i am moving on.
i guess, you are moving on fast. (:

thank God for you.
still sms you for a longer period of time. feel like a sense of achievement. (:


but rather, how i hope i can share the word with you daily.
thank God, because i dunno whether i want to be a nurse.
it's not because nursing is not a nice job.
in actually fact, i do like nursing.
it has never failed to break my heart whenever I saw the sick.

but nonetheless, there is something more for me to do.
people do need nursing care, however the Lord shows me what is beyond nursing.
thank God. (:
the process of going through nursing is a great process.
and i am going on my next step.


jia you wor. (:
thank God for you.
I will pray for you, together with my other friends too. (:

I really hope that, you are that understand a bit of me.
but I guess you will find it really pointless.

is it only when we try to know each other, then we can talk to each other?
cant we just know each other better, as a friend, and as a community?
why not? (:


thank God for you.
I mis you. (:

I realised, and i want to thank God, and thank you.


God just showed me different things, in your perspectives.
you didn't say things that are harsh to me.
you didnt talk bad about me: you have guarded my pride, something that i has, but little.
my mistakes, apparently I am too against it.
my priorities, did i misplaced them?
understanding you, are a totally different world for me.
but I guess that is what relationship about - it just gives me more affirmation how whenever God just spoke words of encouragement and trust into my life, with relationship.

you are just not that expressive, a very traditional lady who just wants to be side by side with me, helping me in all the things in the world. thank God for you. (:
I really hope you are the only one for me. i dun really bother about others.
do not feel bad, when you didnt managed to go into nursing.
because I am not into nursing too - i am just like you, going into business.
how i hope i can understand you more, and more.
because you did all that, not because you dun bother, but because you bother so much and you loved me too. (:
the way you love, is the way you accept too. (:

I just want to say thank you.
definitely i understand you want to dance and breakfree in all senses.
jia you wor. (:

I will pray you, hard. (:
like how I will pray for the others. (:
I love you, God loves you.
and hope you enjoyed the time in school. (:

I dunno, whether you want to meet, or not.
but in this kind of situations, I will definitely hear more about you, the situations and especially your emotions. (:

short message services, has lots of details, but ultimately seeing your face, it is indeed a blessing.
oh well. hope you know all these.
or maybe you have already knew it? just that you need a reminder? :)


well, dun worry.
i will take more graduation pictures for you to see.. okay? :)

promise! :)
hope to see you soon.
you looked beautiful with blue and purple dress. (under sunlight i couldnt see what colour is it.)
your shoes look nice, but it is just not that compaitable with your dress. yeah. (:
jia you in your dancing wor.
hope to see you soon! (:
gonna miss you!


and praise God, for i know you.
praise God, for today.
Praise God, that He is there for us everyday. (:

seems like you really enjoyed yourself there.
you know what, i guess i have really found love.
and i guess i have really been down for e days you are not in singapore, especially the part treating you as a fool.
I am really elated that you replied me! wee! (:

how often, I hope you will see this blog and reply a comment, a sms or anything.
but i guess not now, because you have to study soon, then later worry about this and that.
and i have nevr hope that you see: cos you will feel sad or emotional?
or maybe not?

let me fall for you again.
I dun really bother much about hurts, because I will lift up to Christ, i will tell you what hurts me. yeah.
I will never ever let any girl to physical touch me, whoever not my girlfriend. (:

whatever that is, i just hope you are doing well with Our Daddy in Heaven. I can see you grow spiritually strong is always one of the things i want to see in you. Jia you jia you! (:
I thank God, that you know you have sufficient in everything! Praise the Lord.
I do also have everything in God, and I thank God for everything, especially you, though i miss you a lot. real lots. (:
I thank God for love, for good friday.
relationship seems to be something out of ourselves, a trial between us - but that is a challenge, for that, I thank God. It just really filter out the bad points that i saw in me, and what you saw in me. Thank God for you, I can change my words, and how things work, in a way, that suits you and me.

I saw God's Love, grace and everything was upon me.
how i hope everything is shared with you.
It's really about making a difference, to help each other, I guess. (:

i will pray for you, and i guess that is the only thing i can do. (:
thank God for everything. (:
thank God for my parents, elder brother and younger sister.
thank God for Rachel.
thank God for the coming road that i dun really see. (:

Praise God..!
I love You Jesus, deep down in my heart.
Never let me forget about You. (:

welcome back to Singapore! hees! :)

bad headache strikes me today. real bad.
i thought is going to explode.
gonna see dr tomoro.


hope you are back and safe to see you in a piece.

...Do Not Treat Me Like A FOOL! i was so disappointed and upset when i found out that you told her about it and you still wanna act as if nothing happened in front of me!!...

I immediately emo after seeing that. but that makes me want to face you even more, to know what happened. (:
now, from the bottom of my heart, I want to tell you this:
I have never treated you as a fool. others may, but i have never.
there are things i have never told you, but i have always been truthful to you.
if you think how i behave is rather hypocrite, guess you are wrong!
it is just me: i didnt really wear mask. just that people who are closer knows i have a bad temper. I am struggling to control my up-and-down emotions everyday. (:
cos, i am really indeed an ignorant guy.


I want to look out for the truth. but firstly i will find you, cos i need to clarify with you for some of the misunderstandings. I know you are disappointed and angry with me, but i want to let you know, i will still want to find out the truth, because i am responsible about it.
on the other hand, i am just being truthful to you. yeah (:

have a good rest, i really hope to see you on sunday, if you dun mind to make an effort to. (:

2 more days, and counting down today as the last day.

welcome back to singapore.
i guess, i know who you mean le.
i finally understand, i guess...

it's a totally different way that both of you lives.
and something very different in between both of you.
yeah. i understand.

sometimes, i came to think of that... did i actually stop you from making more friends?
did i actually put my burden of my love, upon onto you...?

questions and questions.
i dunno. yeah.
but nonetheless, praise God.


at least i have a better idea, and i want to face it.
hopefully, with you. (:

3 more days!

counting down. :D
I will pray for your journey mercy. (:
and God will sayang you throughout the journey.
thank God for today.

hey, have you prepare for this coming friday?
what are you going to do?
how many friends have you invited?
how about easter sunday? (:

somethign about you:
sometimes, you will think what you should you do.
but you are forgetful sometimes, so it may slips off your mind.
you will see you can do it generally, then you will proceed with it. (:
but dun be over conscious about the small things, it will take away what your original idea of what you want to tell the others. (:

4 more days for your return: including today.


I begin to like this little corner, cos it is somewhere i can express my feelings.
I really hope i can discarded myself, and cry out as much as i want to, becoming a very weak person. whoever finds it, praise the Lord. (:
I realised, yeah my heart did get more relaxed. but i didnt realised my heart gets harden.
to a lot of questions: "why not?"
I began to lose the touch of my life, and my heart... yeah.
my good friend's grandma just passed away recently.
and i just realised, i lost the touch, the values.
I was thinking about Christ today.

I was thinking, what you are thinking.
it is somehow like a psychological walk.
of course it will be far from being the real you.
but daily, i will post a bit of you. yeah. (:

thank God for today. (:

i still miss you.

but i want to let you fly.

it's gonna be the 4th anniversary from the first time we hold our hands.
today, i want to tell you.
i went to bras basah to go art friend to get something.

lots of memories came back.
passing by the toilet in mac that you waited for me.
went to bras basah complex, went to the level that I found you in the midst of levels.
I have never forget that day how panic you are to find that book.
we went to funan, then you think le something at the traffic junction, to go for a very old place, near SMU to look for Disappeared.

passing through the places, and you got me my favourite food: seoul street snack - boneless chicken thigh, with chilli and mayo, but i forget to bring my cash.
thanks for your giving, what i ate is not that nicey chicken, but rather i realised I am eating the love that you have given to me. it is so much from you: your mum only gave you 3 and it's like giving your whole day for me. I thank God for that.

I realised it is a miracle that i can get back this blog, because i have deleted it.
but miraculous, it can be undeleted recently.
when if the blog can be retrieved back, which is impossible, what will be our relationship be?
if I said I did change my heart before, and i still love you, will you come back to me?

the jimmy you know didnt change, just that you didnt really know much about Jimmy.
and the Rachel I know, I want to know her more, understand her more because jimmy, me, has never know much about Rachel. (:

whatever that comes, let's pursue God together, and going through army times with me. (:
I just to cry in your arms....

Random thoughts. (:
wanted to tell you before you left that i really miss you a lot.
but i guess, there are too many guys missing you le, i wont be in the list.
so in the end i just sms you the instant noodles name..

I was missing you, badly. Real bad.

I was wondering ever,
the breakup with you, was it so bad impact into my life?
because i was crying to God, for 2 days within a week.
but i guess, i wasnt the one only.. oh well.

and so it is, ever is.
I will never know how you will feel about - maybe it is a relief for you.
and i dunno.

hearing you again, is a blessing, i guess.
I got a lot of questions to ask, was it true that...

Seth send you home regularly after church?
a lot of questions in mind. woot.
lol, like you - bothered.
am i really torturing myself during the relationship?
no, even though it hurts most of the time, but silent is easy.

am i dunno all the things that is going on in your life?
not really, I have knew Seth sooner or later will be after you, guys too.
there are just a lot of things, i open an eye and close one eye.

the relationship and the love between two of us has eventually diminished, things become different.
you have always asked yourself why is Jimmy this way?
but have you ever asked me?
and have you ever asked 3 persons around me, close to me?
I know you will ask, but will that be a habit?

what did you like - I asked around.

did you know that everyday, I am just trying my best to make you happy, even though i know that things are going from bad to worse?
if you are not a fool, why are you seeing things from your own thinking,
from your perception,
reflect upon your actions?

did I say I cant take it?

will those words hurt you?

i will rather, keep it to myself, than to hurt you because the hurt is real bad - sound torturing, but that is what God has taught me. like how painstakingly Kelly has loved all of you.

I was putting your sensitivity into my life, and i realised both of us looked at things differently.

it reallys saddens me when you dun really ask me for a clear idea what i talked about you to others.
is the image of me, in your sight, so easily moulded by the others?

but after all, I thank God for you.
everytime I hold onto someone's hand to pray, I will never how I foolishly wipe away the perspiration on both of our hands, with our fingers crossed each other's. how i hoped that moment was forever.
everytime, I see you, I really... want to hug you.
may it be just an expression of emotions.
Places in bugis, and "Disappeared" that you found in a bookstore: thank God, because both of us prayed in our hearts.
and I realised, I am so ever ready in a relationship.
I learn to be willing to be break anytime.
my temper I need to control, and communicate with you was part of my greatest blessings.
I know i have sufficient in all, that's why i seek beyond it.

the template is white, because you are really an angel.
yeah, thank God for you. (:


Dear Lord, I seek for Your Holy Intervention be upon Rachel,
that she will grow up as a strong and powerful. Bless her and build up according your will.
Bless her that the taiwan trip she has been a wonderful one.
Commit her well being into your hands, as I believe in You,
in Jesus' most precious name, I seek, ask and pray, Amen. (:

6 more days.